"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
