I'm gonna have a badass scar
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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