I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
