How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
