i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
