I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
