So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
