your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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