quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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