how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Operation Purity has been aborted
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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