I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
