I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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