I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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