any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
