I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
