I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
