I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
