she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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