I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
