I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
