Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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