so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
