Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
