just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
