i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
