If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
