Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
