you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize