get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
only if we run a train.
done.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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