remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
