I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
