is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
babies were throwing up all over the place
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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