maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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