Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
