He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
