Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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