ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
