That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
