69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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