Non-Jews are for practice
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
