that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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