the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
