Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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