I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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