i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
