...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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