I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
