On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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