I'm so fucking centered right now
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
