I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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