it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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