I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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