You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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