Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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