I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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